I am haunted with visions of the life that could be mine. Of the changes, the in and outs, the light and dark. All of the madness and sadness and millions of speckles of feelings of all the humans that touch it. I want to embrace it, and chase it, and breathe light into it and consume all the warmth and laughter and comfort and contentedness. I want to kiss it, and smother it, and let it go.

And I find myself, in this room, alone. No one reaching out for me, no one I’m reaching out to, no overwhelming sense of urgency to be, to leave, to make, to complicate. 

I am haunted with visions of the life that is mine. I can’t help but smile.